Most people tend to think that the louder the confrontation or convincing demand of respect, the better their chances in changing the treatment that others give them. But then those are often the most profound changes that take place by a “quiet shift” – by internal changes made in the boundaries, and also regarding how one carries oneself. You inevitably change your own “operating system.” As you do with it, the people around you intuitively begin adjusting their behavior with a new frequency.
Here are 10 points that relate to the quiet shift, which will change how people regard:
The Power of the Pause
When someone asks you for a favor or says something slighting, wait. Taking a three-second pause shows you emotional control even while you have to answer. This is a very quiet pause-the kind of signal-your time and your thought, which would definitely discourage people to make happen without forethought.
Stopping auto-apology
It just happens!” “So sorry”; it just popped out like stuffing for what wasn’t done. The less you apologize for being where you are, for asking questions, even for something you think, the less guilty you become. You cease being the one “always wrong” and gain weight in people’s evaluation.
Mastering No with No Story
One of the great quiet changes is to say “No” without the mile long list of excuses attached to it. When you give a long explanation, you really seek permission from another to say no. A simple “I can’t do that this time” shows that your boundary is firm and not up for negotiations.
Investing in Visibility of Self Care:
People treat you by how you treat yourself. When you humble your health and appearance, people will probably think that they are not obliged to take care of your feelings. Setting oneself in silence but on a consistent level creates an expectation that others will feel compelled to follow.
Speaking with Period Energy
Instead of rising at the end (making it sound like a question), have flat or falling endings to your sentences. This period of energy makes your words sound like facts rather than suggestions. It indirectly tells the other that you are confident with your knowledge.
Withdrawing your ‘Reaction’
Some people treat others poorly just to see a reaction. When you stop giving them the ’emotional payoff-remaining calm or simply walking away-you take away their power. They eventually stop the behavior because it no longer works on you.
Protect Your Time
If unavailable 24/7, people will stop taking you and your availability for granted. If you’re not calling back immediately or saying no to any last-minute invitation, you’d let them know that your time is a precious thing and one that they dare not take for granted.
The change in Body Language
Being aggressive is one thing: it is not aggressive before it looks powerful. Keep your shoulders back and maintain steady-but not staring-eye contact: it means great comfort with your skin. People will not overstep with a person like him.
Letting Go of ‘Like’ Mentality
The most silent but most powerful shift is not thinking that everyone must like you. The more that someone is annoyed by your boundaries, the more anyone will lose their ability to guilt you into doing what they want.
Living in Accordance with Your Own Values
“Internal authority” can be achieved when one’s actions correspond with his utterances. Then people would know when someone is genuine. They will treat you with a much higher respect because they know you can’t be swayed with peer pressure or superficial flattery.
